Words of Condolence

Writing a sympathy card is one of the most difficult things to do. Unfortunately, one of the only things that make it easier is if someone has experienced the loss themselves. Otherwise, sympathy wording is often mulled over and over, even when it is already written on a card. A few things will make it easier, however, and those are, speaking from the heart, do not be assuming, stay away from clichés and most of all, be honest.

When composing a sympathy card, speaking form the heart will have lasting impact on the grieving. If the writer has experienced a loss, it can be mentioned. If the writer is heartbroken and saddened, whether for the deceased or the one who experienced the loss, that should be said as well. Honesty works and with words of sympathy, it lets the bereaved know that others care.

Another important facet of sympathy cards is try not be assuming. In other words, it is not a good idea to state that it is known how the bereaved feels, or that everything they are going through is understood. Though that is usually well meaning, to someone in mourning, it can be offensive.

Clichés usually do not go over well in sympathy writing, either. The expressions like, “it was meant to be,” “time heals,” or “he is in a better place” are not always helpful in the early stages of grief, especially depending on the type of loss.

All of these do’s an don’ts aside, the best route for sympathy wording is honesty. Better than the writer stating he knows how the grieving feels, he may choose to say he does not understand how they feel, but his heart goes out. Simply giving support and letting the bereaved know that they have someone to go to if they need it can be best.

Again, some people have the magic touch in times of loss. They know what to say, what to do and what to write. If it is a struggle for others, that is okay, and it is fine to let those suffering the loss know that, and as the same time, let them know they have support.