Condolence Letter

-7 Steps of Condolence Letter
-Guidelines before the Letter

When something tragic happens, people are at a loss of words, so let us help you in writing those words of condolence and sympathy to help your loved one through this tough time.

The Best Way to Say It

When a family faces the reality of death, the people around them are usually at a loss for words. What does the phrase “my condolences to your family” mean? Using a thesaurus, “condolence” is synonymous with “pity”. While friends and loved ones will definitely feel pitiful, it may not be a good word to use.


The first note is to never try to comfort the family member by justifying their loss. Do not use the phrases “it is God’s will”, and other similar clichés. It is pointed out that during this time of the family’s grief, they may be feeling angry towards the God that they have been believing in, and relating the death to being something good that God has willed to happen may only worsen their anger.

Also avoid the phrases “he/she is in heaven now”, “at least he/she is no longer suffering”, “it’s time to move on”. Grief is something a person has to go through, and sometimes, it is a lifetime healing process.

When preparing a condolence message, it is best to just express sympathy and focus on how the deceased will be surely missed. Tell the family about your best times together, and how he/she has touched your life. It is ok to talk about how he/she was when he/she was still alive. Some people think that it might upset the family members, but the good memories, and knowing that their loved one has lived a good life, will help them in their healing process.

To end the message, an offer of service, help or prayer will be appreciated.

The following is an example of a condolence message:

I am deeply saddened by the sudden passing of (name). We just had dinner together last week and I remember that he was looking forward to a long vacation. I even mentioned a few places where he can take his family.

I am at a loss for words, and I cannot really say much except for how I appreciated (name) for his generosity and sense of humor. He has always been a good friend, always ready to listen and lend a hand, and never failed to give a word of encouragement. I will surely miss him.

My family and I will continue to pray for you.